What men believe

Many men think the next breakthrough comes from becoming a better version of themselves.

I don't.

Most online content offers self-improvement hacks as the solutions to everything that’s difficult in life.

“You just need to lift more.”
“Meditate.”
“Breathe slowly.”
“Read Marcus Aurelius.”
“Go be in nature, man.”
“Talk to this guy.”

All fine investments of time and attention, but.

These only work part of the time.

They start from an assumption that our problems exist because of a deficiency. Satisfaction lies in figuring out what’s missing so we can fix it.

When those plans fail, as they often do, we find ourselves right back in the belief that something must still be missing. That’s about the time we devise a new and improved self-improvement plan.

We can call this the self-improvement trap.

No shade. As a lifetime exerciser and dedicated meditator, I’m an advocate for so much that qualifies as self improvement, applied correctly, and understood for its limitations.

There is no skill learned outside the space of self-improvement, but skills will never reconcile us with certain aspects of life, like uncertainty.

What I also believe

✔️ Another self-improvement plan isn’t gonna close the hole.

✔️ There’s something valuable right here.

✔️ Nobody has to discover this alone.

In fact, I take the position that working with someone else, like a coach, is the most powerful way to do it.

Men come to me when they want to finally feel fully integrated, in their relationships, and in themselves.

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